Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
