We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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