How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
