Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize