Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
