I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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