Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
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She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?