Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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