actually, I'm a sock model
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night