She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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