Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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(248): View more from Michigan

girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.

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(718): View more from New York

The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

The "puke-towel" started to grow something...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.

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(520): View more from Arizona

last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.

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(716): View more from New York

Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.

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