How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
