Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
