Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
