u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
