We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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