So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
