yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
