So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
