u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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