i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
