The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
