my being single is dangerous.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
