You're so nebulous sometimes
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
