Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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