eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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