It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
