I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
