i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
