Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
