I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
last night I used snow as a chaser
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
