I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
