I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
