having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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