I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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