OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
