so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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