I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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