While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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