they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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