We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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