Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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