he shaved USA in his pubs
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
