Me. At least after what I've been through.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
