My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I came so hard my ears popped.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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