You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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