We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
