Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
