Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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