When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
