fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
