Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
