I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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