The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
