I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
