Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm just crazy horny about you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
