ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
