She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she smelled like a LAN party
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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