hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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