She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
