the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
