Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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