i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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