What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am one with the molecules
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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