I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
