is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
