he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
